


Lay Me Down

by deanbennylife (kams_log)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2018-03-26 03:57:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3836143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kams_log/pseuds/deanbennylife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heavily inspired by the song "Lay Me Down" by Sam Smith. It's pretty much perfect for them, I believe. </p><p>Dean lost Benny. He misses him, but as far as he's concerned, he can never get Benny back. Or can he? (Reunion fic because I need Benny back as much as the next person.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lay Me Down

**Author's Note:**

> ayyyyy i have emotions about deanbenny. enjoy.
> 
> (if you want an extra load of feels, listen to the song while you read.)
> 
> song link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaMq2nn5ac0

He shook his hand, he pulled Benny close. Somehow, even then, Dean had the horrible sinking feeling that this would be the last time. His vision was blurred. It was all he could do not to stop this, find some other way. But this was the only option. There was no other way. He had to save Sam, no matter how much it would cost him. Cost _them_.

“Thank you,” Dean said. It was all he could say without breaking down. Benny laughed. He called him a wuss. Dean swung the blade. A second later, he was alone. A frozen body lay beside him. With no one around to see, his shoulders shaking, the tears fell shamelessly.

**…**

They had nightmares all the time. It was an unspoken silence between them in the late hours of the night. When they were younger, Sam or Dean, whoever wasn’t suffering a nightly terror, would go over to the other and comfort them. But as they grew older, that was no longer the case. To comfort was to point out weakness, something Dean avoided like a contagion. He refused comfort ever since his teenage years. Sam could respect that, and he left him alone.

Nightmares were nothing special. It was expected in their line of work.

Sam didn’t expect life to change when Benny stayed behind in Purgatory. He knew that Dean cared about Benny a lot. Benny even called Dean _brother_ , a word choice that Sam tried to not flinch over.

He knew they were friends. And it was Benny’s sacrifice was made Sam rethink his original hatred of the vampire. But the pain that crossed Dean’s face when he realized Benny hadn’t come back… Sam didn’t want to think about it. But he didn’t think it would change anything. Until later that night, when Dean’s screams ripped Sam from unconsciousness.

“ _Benny_! _No… No. Please… no._ ”

For the second time, Sam realized he was wrong to have judged Benny. For the first time, he realized Dean and Benny may have been closer than he originally gave them credit for.

Sam didn’t sleep for the rest of the night. He tried not to think about Dean’s muffled cries that followed.

**…**

Dean sometimes remembered the touch of Benny’s hands on his skin. It’d been cool, reassuring. It was a relief from the heat of running every hour, every day, never stopping and always killing monsters in Purgatory. It may have been monster heaven, but at the end of the day, it was simple. It was pure. Benny was pure too.

Hunting with Sam was nothing like hunting with Benny. Dean needed Sam, but with the days and weeks that passed after losing Benny, Dean finally realized how dependent he’d grown on Benny beside him. He missed Benny’s whistle. He missed the way Benny would wrap his large hand against the back of Dean’s neck, bunkering him down against his chest and holding him still when Dean was on the verge of losing it. He missed holding on to him, burying himself in Benny’s warmth and cool. He needed it like nothing he’d ever felt before.

The separation was painful. But there was nothing they could do. Benny was gone. Dean hadn’t felt this alone in a long time.

**…**

Dean didn’t talk about Benny. Sam had the decency not to mention it, and for that Dean was silently grateful. He wasn’t sure he could bear to talk about Benny. He wasn’t sure he could talk about anything really. He knew Sam knew. He didn’t miss the concerned glances, or the latest understanding that colored his brother’s face.

Sam _knew_. But it didn’t matter. Benny was gone. They couldn’t bring him back. At the end of the day, Dean just felt empty. The swinging arm at his side was gone, the rumbling accent that talked him to sleep at night was gone. He didn’t have the pirate stories and he didn’t have the tales of Louisiana in the summer. He had nothing left of Benny. Only his memories stood by him, reminding him of a time he could never take back.

Sam knew. Dean made sure to never make a sound at night. But the dampness on his pillow in the morning told a story of its own.

…

Benny smiled at him and pulled Dean down on top of him. It was one of the precious, rare quiet moments in Purgatory. They had lost their predators a few miles back and found a cavern to hide in for a few hours. Just enough for the human Dean to get some sleep, but nothing more than that. Not tonight, anyway.

Dean would always deny the word, but with no one around to tease him or look at him funny, Dean snuggled in against Benny’s chest and sighed. It’d been a long run. Benny may not have needed to sleep, but if Dean was aching _this_ bad, Benny had to be pretty sore himself.

“You good?” Benny grinned up at him, fangs retracted but still strangely sharp and glinting in the low light. His fingers carded through Dean’s hair. The human grunted in reply and closed his eyes.

“You sure you don’t mind?” Dean asked, still hesitant at their new arrangement. Hell, since when had one fiery kiss changed his life? Apparently, with Benny. Only Benny could do something as crazy as that.

Benny chuckled. “Any chance ta’ lay by your side? Tha’s all I need, suga’.”

Dean smiled and felt his body begin to relax for the first time in days.

…

In the end, it was Sam who found a way to rescue Benny. It was for a damn case, of all things. They were hunting a vamp that knew Benny. The only way to get more information was from the only other pirate ‘alive’ to know it.

When Sam came forward with the information, the wide-eyed subdued hope in Dean’s eyes was enough to make Sam regret not looking for the spell sooner. But they had it now. Sam tried to tell himself that was all that mattered.

The spell was simple, and soon enough a portal was ripping open in front of them. Dean’s gaze was steely and determined. He jumped through. Sam kept it open as long as he could.

An hour later, Dean and Benny fell through the hole. Sam didn’t fail to notice the way Dean seemed to cling to the vampire’s jacket, or the way Benny’s eyes seemed to never leave Dean’s.

…

Benny’s arms tightened around Dean’s body. Dean smiled and leaned in closer, letting Benny press kisses to his forehead and neck, his whiskers tickling spots Dean didn’t know he had. The sheets were wrapped all around their bodies, but Benny was still cool to the touch. He was like the cool side of a pillow, never letting Dean overheat at night and making it easy to drift between dreams and consciousness.

“Know you’re awake, suga’.” Benny murmured, biting at Dean’s ear and drawing a laugh out of the man.

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean grumbled and pressed his face into Benny’s shoulder. The vampire smelled like earth and rain. It reminded Dean of Purgatory, but not of the blood and guts and death. It reminded him of purity, simplicity. It was all Benny. “Damn I missed you.”

He felt Benny smile against his cheek, a kiss falling shortly after. “Missed ya’ too. More than ya’ know.”

“You didn’t come back,” Dean said softly. _You could have come back_.

Benny sighed and his hands rubbed Dean’s arms. “Wasn’t sure I’d still be wanted in that world. Things were… complicated.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” Dean grunted. Benny ran his fingers through Dean’s hair and lifted Dean’s chin with his other hand.

“Tell me they ain’t complicated now?” Benny said quietly. His bright blue eyes held hope, but resignation, like he already knew the answer wouldn’t be in his favor. Dean wasn’t accepting that for a minute.

He leaned up and kissed him, chapped lips meeting cool marble for a few glorious seconds before parting again.

“It never had to be,” Dean finally breathed. Benny smiled and kissed him again.

They had a lot of catching up to do.

**Author's Note:**

> me: deanbennylife.tumblr.com


End file.
